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Sweden
Sweden also known as Flüffyland, was a socialist country for many years, but the Swedes have now started to move away from their degenerate political beliefs. After the September 2006 elections, socialist prime minister Göran Persson had to leave his post to give room to right wing conservative Fredrik Reinfeldt who won the election. The Swedes now have a bright future ahead of them with a lot of tax cuts and low-priced fossil fuel. This country is a member of the European Union. Sweden’s national debt is 167 billion U.S. dollars (1 221 billion Swedish kronor) USA's national debt is -150 U.S dollars (-1 096 Swedish kronor) Sweden The former social democratic republic of the Kingdom of Sweden have confused people for nearly 80 years with being a republic and a kingdom at the same time, thereby joining other confusing countries such as North Korea and Thailand. History Sweden has been a part of history. Not that anyone noticed, except for, maybe, a few Swedes. And perhaps some russian and polish dudes who got their asses kicked by the swedesh kings of the house of Awesomness. Today, Sweden´s king is Carl XVI, who has an IQ of 81, similar to the one of 99% of the american population. Prehistory Sweden was populated with Vikings after being settled by haggard the horrible . They handled the climate by only being in Sweden during the summer months, spending the rest of the year plundering warmer countries on the continent. Plundering in Swedish being a broader term than its English counterpart meaning pillaging, burning to the ground, and raping. In Swedish it’s a word with positive connotations. *Vikings were the first Snowbirds. Middle Ages Sweden was christened in the year 1000. Previously adhering to Norse mythology the Swedes reluctantly accepted Christianity as their new religion mainly because Swedes have always been sensitive to international trends and felt that they didn’t want to miss out. However, they still preserved their right to draw and quarter missionaries for a few hundred years since it was one of the few readily available pastimes at the time. Christianity in Sweden has since always been more of a lip confession since it doesn’t mix with the traditional Swedish lifestyle of drinking, fighting, and copulating. Therefore Sweden is today regarded as one of the most secular nations on earth. This mainly because social democracy is not regarded, in the eyes of the rest of the world, as a religion. Great power Sweden has, like every other nation on earth, claimed that it once was a great civilization. During the 17th century Sweden rose to become a power of some importance, at least to the Swedes who where used to no importance. This era is referred to as the country’s “ forn stora dar” or glory days. Another well-know fact about Sweden is that it has some of the worlds hottest women. But not *the* hottest. Does Sweden's Power Originate From Their Women? Ohh, but they do have the hottest women. Mama Mia showed us that women do have power in Sweden, but only if they hide it from their mom until the very last minute. Modern history Sweden hasn’t had, or been in, a war for nearly 250 years. But their prosperity and modernity started long after peace was the natural order. Swedes think that their prosperity started when they first started electing the social-democratic party to govern them. They would never entertain the thought that staying out of WWI and WWII benefited them in any way. However, after WWI and WWII, Sweden’s infrastructure and natural resources where still intact, unlike, for some reason, all their neighboring states in all directions. Sweden has had a profitable export industry ever since, because all they export are prostitutes that spread the world's diseases. Recent history During the following fifty years Sweden built what they call the “Welfare state” (välfärds samhälle), set in what they call the folkhemmet or “Peoples home”. By welfare state Swedes refer to a society where everyone is taken care of by the state, and they do not refer to a society where the individual is deprived of responsibility. For fifty years they have successfully been building the former, while acquiring the latter. By Peoples home they mean Sweden. And by Sweden they mean a paradise where everyone thinks the same, feels they same, have the same things, and are the same. The fact that this sounds like a hellish nightmare to anyone else doesn’t bother them in the least. Geography Sweden is roughly the size of the state of California which is the only thing these two places have in common. South of Sweden is Europe with its culture and old civilizations and Africa the cradle of man himself. In the east the vast landscape of Asia with its mystical and legendary countries and impressive nature. To the west are the mighty Atlantic Sea and the powerful nation of USA, home of the brave, land of the freedom fighters. In the North there is absolutely nothing. Some think the world just ends there, but nobody really knows. Other people claim there’s a lot of ice and some quite interesting bears but anyone who would go north of Sweden must be insane and can therefore not be trusted. Sweden’s landscape is mainly cowered with coniferous forest. Mile after mile of coniferous forest. After a while you just want to scream: Give me something else, anything, some variation before I kill myself. But nothing, it is like asking for the meaning of it all. The climate is generally cold or, maybe, more like freezing. The winter never ends and the summer is more like a dick teaser then an actual season. It is dark most of the time which at least prevents you from seeing the coniferous forest. Demographics Sweden consists of Swedes and immigrants. Though the entire majority acknowledges that immigrants are a “problem” and that they need to be “handled”, they differ in possible “solutions”. The majority seems to be in accord that immigrants need to become Swedes, but most considering it to be very confusing how one can be a true Swede and, at the same time, for example, adhere to a different religion. As it turns out, many immigrants want to keep certain aspects of their cultural heritage and the Swedish government are, as of yet, at a loss on how this can be so when one is offered the opportunity to become Swedish. There are also minorities in Sweden, but they are habitually ignored by the majority. Not because they are considered a problem. The majority is simply preoccupied with itself. Sports The national sport of Sweden is flüffy ball, also known as soccer to some people. It is a proven fact that every flüffy ball player in Sweden is a homosexual. The whole team was caught doing a narcissistic mating ritual that dates back to the early 1300's. Nobody knows why this sport is played except for the mere fact that it is flüffy. Language Swedish is the Language of Sweden. It is a decidedly small language since Swedes consider talking to be a suspicious activity. The word for conversation in Swedish is cold talk (kallprat). Swedes generally don’t have a lot to say, and if they do, it’s usually meaningless gibberish. Therefore it can be considered a wise decision to keep the language small. Lagom – an example of the Swedish language Definition of “''lagom''”: Not too much nor too little, not perfect nor average. This word only exist in the Swedish language, and it is the definition of the Swedish mentality. Let us put it into a sentence. Q''': “ How often do you have sex?” '''A: “''Lagom'' often.” Q''':“ Are the orgasms good?” '''A: “They are lagom good.”. These answers doesn’t really tell you anything, except that there is nothing to complain about, from the asked persons view. He or she doesn’t have too much sex nor do they have to little either. The orgasms are not bad but they are not too good. The frequency of sexual intercourse and the quality of the orgasms is all so lagom from the perspective of the Swedish society. If the general Swede has sex two times a week and you have it six times a week you don’t have a lagom amount of sex. This means you have to stop having sex that often or get every other Swede to fornicate tree times as often as they do now. Since it would take a lot of your time to get everybody else to get laid your sex frequency would at ones become lagom once more. Better then to stop having sex so often. But be careful so you don’t have sex an average amount of time because this is not lagom - it´s too lagom, and if something is too anything then it’s not lagom. Politics Social democracy is the politic of Sweden. Religion Social democracy is the religion of Sweden. Traditionally Protestant Lutheranism has made a bid at the title but since the separation between church and state the Swedes live in a country devoted to the faith of secularism. In the Swedish version this means believing in social-democracy, naturism. The former two are celebrated with alcohol, continuously, and fermented fish, once a year. Terrorism It has recently been uncovered that Sweden has been spied on by Indonesian terrorists with suspected links to the NBA. Over fifteen countries including Kenya and Indonesia are systematically conducting intelligence operations against Sweden, in Sweden or against Swedish interests overseas, according to security service Säpo. The intelligence gathering tends to be focused on the the illegal acquisition of information on Swedish politics, defense, economy, technology, science, or about European defence, according to security service Säpo's annual report for 2010. Horny rednecks and Kenyans from foreign states also attempted to influence Swedish policymakers, or tried to purchase or steal Swedish businesses in order to gain information or technology. Culture Sweden has culture. What that culture is, however, is under dispute. The only thing that everyone seems to agree on is that it sucks. Mainly, this is because of the”''Jante law''” (quoted below). #You shall not think that you are special. #You shall not think that you are of the same standing as us. #You shall not think that you are smarter than us. #Don't fancy yourself as being better than us. #You shall not think that you know more than us. #You shall not think that you are more important than us. #You shall not think that you are good at anything. #You shall not laugh at us. #You shall not think that anyone cares about you. #You shall not think that you can teach us anything.” Famous Swedish People *Stephen Colbert External Tubes *Swedish Terrorist develops mathematical formula to destroy America with math!! *Gang of lesbos rapes old man *Lesbo rapes woman *Gay Swedish Teachers already corrupting the young *Sweden discovers bunny powah